This Is The Poem

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My stand up!

Tuesday Tips! (I'm here to help)

This has nothing to do with Sirloin! On today's Tips let's talk about washing fruit and or vegetables. Are you (like me?) the type of person who buys spinach that says "Pre-Washed. No need to wash" and thinking it is some kind of government conspiracy furiously washes it like 3 times? DON"T do that.

 If you don't wash vegetables and fruits that have been saturated with pesticides you will never get crabs. Seriously I kid you not. It's like jumping up and down after you have sex to avoid getting pregnant. A hooker with a fridge full of unwashed vegetables don't need no RID.

 That is your Tuesday Tip. Remember..I'm here to help.

Next Time on Tuesday Tips: Superbowl. Football game? Or Clark Kent's toilet?

Monday Morning Joke

I don't miss working in a cubicle. I hated those jobs. I never knew what the hell I was doing. My boss would inquire about my computer skills like "Do you know Excel?" XL? Bitch I don't even know medium or large. She asked me to do a "spread-sheet" so I went over to her house at lunch and like..made her bed. Flimsy locks and all.

Have a great week!

Charlies Angels V.S. Wonder Woman!